The Insane Asylum
by HerHiddenSecret
Summary: Sakura is the daughter of Jashin. She is 'grounded' to Earth after setting his room on fire. For the next century. Now she is brought to The Insane Asylum because she's bored. What kind of chaos will she cause there? Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

**Angel: This be one of my newest stories! I had it stuck in my head for a while after I finished reading**_ 'Mad House' _**and **_'Inside the Mad House'_** by **_'Vesper-Chan'. _**Look it up and find that is is a whole lot better than this one. It is different than hers so no flames! D; They make me very unhappy. Credit goes to Vesper-Chan. 3**

**Hidan: Angel doesn't fucking own**_ 'Naruto_**'! There I fucking said it! Now give me my shitty cookie!**

**Angel: Here you go Mr. Cranky.**

**Hidan: * Munch Munch***

I'm breathing heavily. My body feels lighter than it should be. I can feel the still warm blood on my knuckles. I want to lick it off so badly, but if I do they'll probably catch up. Sigh. I can hear them as they run after me. Their heavy breaths. Their panicked voices. But no matter how hard they try I will not go back. I refuse to go back. I _can't _go back. They barely allow me to kill! They don't let me torture people. They don't let me hurt others unless it's in a battle. And even then only a few are fun to play with! I was not a happy camper. If I do go back, I'll be driven insane. I need blood. I need to sacrifice. I'm the princess of mother fucking hell! I'm not saying that I'm not insane though. I already know I'm insane. I was insane even before they locked me up. My name is Sakura Haruno and I have just escaped from The Insane Asylum. Crazy name, I know. Even the name shows it's evil intentions. I'm not happy. Nope, not happy at all.

**How the fuck do you think I feel?**

Oh that? Yeah well that is one of the main reasons of me being brought to that sucky almost pain free hell hole in the first place.

**Do you fucking think I planned that shit to happen to you?**

That is what I like to call meh dadeh. I was called insane for people thinking it was a voice in meh head. Fuck you dad!

_Shit their catching up..._

**Do you want to use my fucking awesome powers?**

_Not really..._

**Be like that! See if I fucking care!**

Well then... So your probably wondering how I got here in the first place. Well I, being the insane fucking awesome murderer I is. I got caught. Yup caught. I let tem though! I was bored... Don't judge me... And dubbed 'an insane nutcase'. Idiots. I am a fucking awesome insane nutcase! Jeez! Anyways I think I'mma just do a flashback so that I don't- Holy shit! They're starting to shoot darts at me! Darts I tell you!

_Flashback cause they're catching up now..._

I looked around. I was thirsty on this spectacular evening. No not for water you turds. I need to get someones blood to sacrifice. No I am not a vampire! I'm a demon. Gasp! I know. However, I'm not your typical demon. I have a second mind inside meh! But it's my dad's voice so... Yeah, I already know I'm insane so save your precious breath. But I is not kidding you. At least, not at the moment. Heh. So... You probably want to know more about me, right? Well my name is Sakura Haruno and I am Jashin's daughter. Now you're probably wondering who the fuck is Jashin. Jashin be meh dad. He is the ruler of the underworld, to put it short. Making me a Jasinist. So that kinda explains the whole blood thing... I am technically the 'princess of hell'. I was kinda 'grounded' for a while cause I kinda burned down his room... It was by accident, I swear! So now I am grounded on Earth for the next century. Not too bad if I do say so myself. Even though I hate the idea... So here I am in my third year. I am not happy it's taking so long. I still have a looooonnnnggggg way to go. Sigh. I still have to sacrifice some blood for meh dadeh cause now people are thinking killing is 'wrong' and he's practically starving. Poor babeh~ Ouch! God damn it! Ouch! Jashin damn it! _Silence_Finally! Jeez, I forgot he can watch my thoughts through my Jashin necklace. And speak to me through the necklace. And watch me through the necklace. Fucking hate this necklace thing at the moment... _Shock! _OMJ he's like a stalker! _Shock! _Fuck you!

**I'm not really into incest...**

I'mma kill him... _Shock! _Shit! C'mon! It doesn't even feel good anymore! What did you do to meh pleasure dadeh? What did you do to it! XP Look at me~ I have gone to a new level of insane. I am now doing psychotic smileys! :D You better watch out. So at the moment I be wearing a pretty sexy looking black tanktop that went a bit above meh naval. I was also wearing this smexy looking black mini skirt. And when I say mini I mean it barely covers my delicious ass with mid-thigh high black, heeled, pointy boots. I looked taller! I be a smexy ass bitch~

Yes I know I'm a conceited insane slut!

Ooh look at that! It's a little girl. Walking by herself. At midnight. Wearing a pink pj dress. OMJ she looks around 5! How adorable~ Oh look! I just killed her. So now here I am killing a little girl who just seconds ago was humming a cute little tune as she skipped down the street. Haha! I'mma see ya in hell after I'm done being grounded! Oh wait... I think she was a snob... Nevermind I dun like you anymore! X3 I sowy not so cute anymore little snob! Holy shit there are fucking police around me! Ha I'm bored so I'll let them take me. Yes I am insane. Oh well.

OMJ where the fuck are they taking meh? We're driving through this creepy looking forest... Following a dirt path... OMJ I see a building. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a building ;D! Holy crap! This building looks demented. It's like bigger than three fucking _very _expensive and _large _hospitals... And it's surrounded by an electric fence with mother fucking barbed wire! When I escape I'mma have to try those out... Mmmm I can imagine the pleasure, and pain... :D I be a happy camper when that happens to meh. Yes I will repeat it. I am insane, don't question meh sanity! If I have any... Did I have any when I was born? Probably not... Well seeing as my father is Jashin and my mother is one of god's favorite angels... I was a messed up shit before I was even born~ XD

Oh look they're taking me out of the insaane looking pedovan. Yes it is a pedovan. I mean it's this large van! With only tinted windows! And it's black! It fucking screams pedovan! But technically they wouldn't be pedos... I would be, cause I'm like turning a Million years old when this century is up. Fucking 9,903 years old baby! Fuck ya!

So here I am in this messed up room. It's all white. And bland. But mostly white. And bland. In a straight jacket. Yes, they put me in a fucking straight jacket. After knocking me out. Oh yes, I'm pissed. Of course it helps to know I can break free at any moment and set this demented hellhole on fire. They're soooo lucky I'm bored. I sighed. I wonder what they'll do? Heh, if they don't bring on the pleasure soon I'mma commit a massacre. Again. I think it'll be my 5,999,999 massacre. At that I smirked evilly. XP Beware my limited sanity bitches! Beware!

I looked up when I heard the door open and snickered. Dude, I don't know if it was a snake, man, or woman. He/she/it looked so fucked up. Haha. The thing looked at me in boredom.

"Before you are placed in the proper level, you will be tesssted againssst different experimentsss from different levelsss." He explained sounding like a fucking snake.

I looked up at him and put on the most innocent face I could put. "But what happens if I get huwt?" I said childishly.

He seemed to stop for a second and eyed me. Sucker~

"They ssshould be able to ssstop" He said coldly.

Damn.

"If not" He smiled an evil smile that looked so weak compared to my fathers _least _creepy smile. Or mine. Idiot.

I kept the innocent expression though. Then let it fall and smirked evilly as my eyes hardened. He seemed a bit taken aback as I flipped backwards and landed perfectly on my feet.

"Alright then, if I end up killing the whole lot I will not be blamed." I said coldly as I walked forward. He quickly took out a handgun and guards showed up. I tsked in annoyance.

In a matter of seconds I was walking down the hall, right behind that snake thing. They had forced me to wear a tight, white spandex suit. Pfft I soooo looked like a whore. Oh well, I usually dressed like this anyways. And imagine how pretty it will be covered in blood. Mmm I'd look like a sexy mutha fucka.

So they also put a very tough and heavy plastic collar around me.

Stupid snake bitch was walking me around like a fucking bitch! Ha. I made a funny. :P Don't judge the insane girl who could beat you in minutes! Or seconds for some wussies...

At that I eyed the snake like wo/man/snake. Hmm. They also put me in shackles. On my hands and ankles. I could easily brake free and I prided myself in that. The stupid snake whore had put two very buff guys on either side of me along with a few behind me.

Skank.

Jeez, it's almost as if he doesn't trust me. I'm wounded. I'm deeply wounded :D. He's going down. We stopped in front of a large white door. I was roughly pushed in the minute the door opened and then the bitch shut the door on me!

Why I outta- Holy fuck... The room I was in was bigger than five football fields! I must have misjudged the size of this place... Not cool. The whole room was white and near the ceiling there was banister thingys. Like a whole bunch of mini rooms with glasses to watch me. OMJ they were like stalkers! I could vaguely see them wearing lab coats and holding clip boards. A little beep sounded and I looked down. The shackles had fallen off! But the heavy collar remained.

Faggots...

I watched as a door opened slowly and I caught sight of a weird shaped over object. OMJ it was a man. Oh I was suppose to fight him. A voice sounded over my head as I smirked.

"_Alright. Sssakura"_

How the fuck do they know my name?

"_Firssst level. Level 1."_ The voice she recognized as the snake guys sounded from above.

A man was thrown in. He seemed to have only one eye. He was covered in scars and was foaming in the mouth. He had no hair other than a few patches of a dark dark green. He was a bit hunched over and- what the hell you don't need to know how he fucking looked like! He'll be dead soon. He ran at me with stumbling movements. I tsked. I wanted to sacrifice people but his blood wasn't worth it. Nope not at all. I dodged quickly and he seemed surprised as he hit the wall. I walked over to him slowly and grinned. I put my black heeled boots (Idiots never changed meh shoes) on his neck and watched in fascination as it sunk into his neck and killed him.

Ha take that bitch! (I have just realized how much I say bitch... Oh wells) After some amazed gasps I was sent man after man to fight me. All from different levels too! Dude where are all the women? I easily killed some of them since many would ogle me instead of fighting. Ha take that you perverts! XD I feel special~~~ I am now on the last level.

Level 50. Heh I killed so many people and only a few were worth the time it took to sacrifice them. (They didn't even take my Jashin necklace! Lazy asses...)

Now they seem to be sending in more than one. They're getting smart... :P OMJ! They sent in like three dudes! And not those ugly insane dudes! Smexy insane dudes! There's a difference whores! One had really long blonde hair that reminded me of a girl. Most of it covered his left eye while his other was a beautiful sky blue color. He was wearing a red tank along with some rather loose black shorts. _How come he get's hot clothes?_

**Because he's level 50, stupid...**

_Bitch... Shock!_

I'mma shut up now. The one next to him had messy dark red hair. It was a bit like the color of Autumn. With some matching pair of light brown eyes. Smexy~~~ He was wearing a dark red tank with loose black shorts. The same outfit as the blonde. On the other side of the blonde was a black haired boy. He had the red eyes with weird comas. Or something like that. His eye drew her in. For his other eye was covered by a black eye patch. He looked like a smexy pirate. He too was wearing a red tank with loose black shorts. Damn and they all looked fuckable too... I think I'll spare them.

They seemed surprised as they looked at me. My once long pink hair was coated in blood with some pink showing through and in a high ponytail. My eyes were probably filled with blood lust and my once plain white spandex was splattered with blood. My boots were still as shiny as ever but with blood on the pointy tip and on the heel. Mmm yummy blood.

Heh they shook off their surprise and ran at me. The blonde one put his hands in this weird looking pouch while the red one had green shoot out of his fingertips. Fuck! I was so busy dodging the weird bombs and strings, I didn't notice the pirate looking one coming in from behind using a sneak attack. How unfair! I quickly dodged and giggled to myself. They seemed to freeze.

Ah my amazing powers. I had frozen them in place. Ya see I have certain powahs. I control some things that have to do with heaven and I control most things that have to do with hell. At the moment I had summoned some demons. They were the weaker ones. They were small and a firey red. They were literally covered in fire. They had the blackest of eyes and a little black tail with black bat wings. Pretty cool if ya asked meh. They were holding them by the legs and I could tell the firey hands were burning their calves. The little demons were small. And when I say small I mean they barely reached mid-calf. Ha shorties!

I strutted my way over as they looked at me with panic in their eyes. I could hear the busy scribbling of the scientists as they watched wide-eyed as I defeated three of their most prized experiments in mere minutes. 14.8 minutes to be exact. I walked around each one with an evil smirk on my face. I reached into my boot and took out a little pen. Smaller than my pinky.

They all watched in fascination as it turned into a long black stick. Almost as small as me but a few inches bigger. There was a large gray blade at each end of the black stick thing. At the ends of the blade was a sickening red color. I quickly made it shrink to the size of my hand and I walked up to the blonde one. I grabbed his arm as one of the demons came and made sure he couldn't move it. I picked the little blade and began drawing near his arm. I quickly drew the Jashin sign and the initials _S.H_ with that I smirked as the blonde twitched in pain.

I usually did this to mark a person as mine. As a 'no, no' for any other demon who trys killing them or something along those lines. The symbol and initials glowed a bright blood red before turning a darker shade on the skin. He hissed at me and tried to claw the small demon off, but the demons hold only hardened as it growled at the blonde. After this I did the same on each of their right shoulders. Every single time they would twitch and hiss in pain. And every single time I would smirk happily and hum a small tune. After I was done I quickly pushed a pressure point on each of their necks and the demons disappeared. They fell to the floor with a thud and the last thing they heard was a snicker and the girls name. 'Sakura' They thought before they were out cold.

In a matter of minutes my collar shocked me and I was dragged out of the room by surprised, buff bodygaurds. I remember seeing a dark smirk of the evil snake before passing out with one word on my lips.

"_Fuck"_

I have now realized I hate snakes. And man/woman/snake things/its. I am pretty sure if I ever grow bored I'll end up killing him. I'll even sacrifice him to dadeh as a bonus. :P The point to this being, The fucking bitch is going down!

**Angel: Tada~~~ I has finished the first chapter! X3**

**Tobi: Tobi don't wan any flames because Tobi already burned on his leg by evil pixies! ;.;**

**Angel: Poor Tobi~~~ :c *Hugs Tobi as they both cry anime tears***

**Deidara and Sasori: What about-fucking- us-yeah?**

**Angel: Join the hug!**

**Kakuzu: These people are idiots... *watches as they all cry in anime style***

**Angel: D; Your just jealous!**

_Angel~~~_


	2. Chapter 2

**Angel: A new chapter to meh awesome story! I'mma just skip to the story now.**

**Kakuzu: Seeing as everyone else is taking a nap... Who the fuck am I kidding *hic * We're all getting drunk!**

**Sasori: Ya know *hic * Dei you look like a *hic * lady *hic ***

**Itachi: Dude looks like a *hic * Lady!**

**Angel: I do not own **_'Naruto' _**but I do own the beer! Pass meh the beer!**

I woke up later than I expected. That fucking snake man is such a skank! I growled as I looked around. The room I was in this time was padded. But still white. And still bland. Sigh. Same old same old... I mean couldn't they decorate it just a _bit _differently? I mean it wouldn't hurt to spice it a up a bit.

_Ya know I would soooo escape if it wasn't for those suppah smexy mortals... Why can't demons be that smexy? WHY?_

**OMME! **(Cause he is Jashin, duh...) **don't tell me you like mortals?**

And now he's having a spaz attack. _Shock! _And the pain is still not pleasurable! Damn...

_But they are just, just, just so damn smexy! D; Why are they so fucking smexy? Earth is soooo cruel! ;(_

**OMME! I knew you liked them! I knew because you never fucking branded someone... Like ever... Not even that human I got for your fucking birthday...**

_I bet you only liked him because he was half demon... . Shock!_

Damn I'm getting used to the weird shocking coming from my necklace... It's like it's not even there... Anymore...

**Holy Fuck! They took your Jashin necklace! MY necklace! That I gave you! The special one! The one that makes me feel like a stalker! Stalker I tell you!**

_I knew you were a fucking stalker! What the- Holy Fuck! I'mma murder them all D:! My Jashin necklace! My dadeh necklace!_

I realized I was wearing the lousy collar that knocked me out and another straight jacket. Growling I broke the fucking jacket, barely using any of my strength too X3! Then the motha fuckin collah that dares to restraining my mightyness! After I was done beating the shit out of the damn collah, I strutted over to where I think the door was and pulled my fist back. I didn't even need to use my powers for this shit. I quickly broke the bland, and white, and taunting, and padded... You get the fucking idea! I broke the fucking wall down! Jeez, I don't know why I'm even using meh awesomeness on explaining things to you people...

D; It wasn''t the fucking door! It led to another room! :( I am not a happy bitch! In the room was a man... Or I think it was a man... But he/she was smexy either way! Ahem, don't tell meh dadeh!

**Your gay!**

_No I'm not! I just know smexy when I see it... D;_

**My perverted dream has fucking finally come true! My mother fucking daughter is fucking gay!**

_I have no fucking idea... I just know your a perverte- Shock! Or not! Ha I don't have the necklace anymore so you can't shock me! XD _

**And I had thought my fucking dream had fucking come true... D;**

_OMJ! You make the demented smileys too! :D_

**OMME! Your fucking rubbing off on meh! OMME did I just say 'meh'? I'm fucking getting out of here!**

_Dadeh?_

Meh dadeh has just abandoned meh! ;( I will now be in my emo corner...

_**Wait no! No emo corner for you! You must look find a way out!**_

_OMJ! Dadeh you totally sound like a chick! A snobby stick up the ass chick!_

_**Shush now! You must get out of here!**_

_And why should I listen to you, voice-in-my-already-insane-mind-that-doesn't-curse-or-act-smexy?_

_**Hmph, I'm you sanity... The only civil part of you...**_

_OMJ! I don't have any sanity! I lost it when I was in meh not-so-goody-two-shoes mother's womb! Womb I tell you!_

_**Well apparently in a past life I was the outer and you were the inner! **_

_Ha! I must've been a total stick-up-the-ass bitch!_

_**Excuse me?**_

I tuned the goody two shoes out and looked around the room I was in. It was exactly like the other one. Except with a sexy man. Yes I know it's a male now! I can see his fucking six pack through his straight jacket!

I began walking closer to him and I could tell the smexy male tensed up at the intrusion. He stared at me with bored but a bit interested eyes. OMJ! Those are the red eyes that pirate guy had! OMJ they must be fucking related! Woah... He had long black hair tied up in a loose ponytail with the weird red eyes with comas. Or something weird like that... Don't judge the girl who just found out she has a small strip of sanity! So the guy was wearing a red tank- The exact same fucking clothes as the other three I branded! Mmm, that must be he's Level 50... I like this smex god already XD! Now I stopped when I was about an inch or two away from the black haired man. I stared at his eyes as he looked bored at me. I opened my mouth and then closed it as he raised an elegant eyebrow at my antics. Well as elegant as you could get when in a straight jacket in an Asylum that is...

"What's your name" I asked him as I began to circle him. In a creepy 'I'm the predator' way. Ya know like my clawed hands were on the ground and it looked like I had a tail... Even if I do... But I can make it go away... Stop judging the insane princess of hell! :C You people are sooooo cruel to meh!

Here since it's seems I have your interest spiked up, I'mma tell you all about meh weird features! Or at least weird to mortals... Anyways, I have this tail. And ears. And wings. And fangs. And claws. What? I'm too bored to explain _exactly _how I look! D: Jeez! But since the smex god seems a little hesitant with speaking I'mma explain things to you. Be grateful bitches! :D

My tail looks like a wolves. Except black. And red. And can be covered in spikes and fire. But! Only if I want to... X3 I have little wolfy ears on meh head. They be black. And red. But! Only the tips can have a smallish flame on them... Then comes meh wings! Meh wings be like a bats. A large large large big big big bat... :D They have a red tint to them too! And spikes, when I want. And some fire, when I want... Yeah... I can make feathers grow on them since meh mother, Tsunade, was an angel. Though she's not... Any more at least... Back to meh! The feathers I can make meh wings have be a black color cause like, Hello meh dadeh be from hell~ Durrrr. But with a red tint. XD! Now I can't make my fangs or claws go away... Cause their actually a part of meh bodeh, and stuff. Meh fangs can be hidden in meh mouth though... :D I be a happy camper~ So the claws... Can't really hide them ^-^;. OMJ! Meh psychotic smileys are getting weirder! Lolz... I'm thinking in txt too!

_**Pay attention stupid! He spoke, he said his name was Uchiha Itachi...**_

_OMJ! He be a sexy man weasel!_

_**How did I end up with you?**_

_You wuv me :D_

"Itachi... Uchiha..." I said slowly as I kept eyeing the man in front of me. I suddenly smiled, surprising the Uchiha.

"I like you~~~" I purred just as the door was broken down and the snake man walked in. Along with over a dozen gaurds.

"Damn..." I muttered. I fucking hate that snake. I stood up and glared at him as my eyes turned to black slits and I let my fangs show. They all seemed taken aback and frightened.

"Where is it you man-bitch?" I asked softly as a growl rumbled in my throat. The snake looked surprised.

"Don't play games with me faggot!" I yelled angrily as I stepped forward.

"Where the fuck is my symbol?" I growled out as I jumped on him. My clawed hand was immediately around his neck and his back was against the padded wall. He clawed at my hand but I didn't let go.

"I don't know what your talking about" He gasped out.

"If I don't get the necklace my father gave me" I growled out as my grip tightened. It was getting harder to hold back my demon features now... This is so fucking bad... D:

"I will end up dieing, and if I end up dieing before my millionth birthday..." I could here unbeleiving gasps and growls behind me. Along with some guns loading.

"I'll make sure when you go to hell, _I'll be there to personally greet you~~~" _I hissed out. I could feel metal entering my skin but at the moment I was too pissed of to care. My demon features began to show. I could feel my bat wings, without the feathers, begin sprouting from my back along with my ears an tail. Covered in fire and spikes. My eyes seemed to be on fire as I glared at him.

I could feel the Uchiha's red eyes on my back. I couldn't help but feel calm with his piercing stare. My glare softened. Just a bit. I saw the snake man reach into his pocket. I saw him take out my pendant. I immediately let go and my features disappeared. I grabbed the necklace and quickly put it on. My eyes turning back to their normal emerald green. _Shock! Shock! Shock! _I felt the previous shocks and as I got zapped.

"Fuck * pant* You *pant * Dadeh *pant *" I said as I fell down. Sometimes I really hate my father.

_Shock! C'mon!_

I quickly stood up. I brushed away the scattered bullets, darts, and anything else stuck to my clothes. They had already put me in my old clothes. Thank Dadeh for that~

"Okay, I'mma need a new straight jacket" I told the snake guy as I went over and sat next to the smexy Itachi Uchiha. Personally he seemed a bit stoic to me. But at the moment his mouth was slightly agape and his eyebrows were slightly raised as he stared at me. I began to talk to him as the guards and snake man ran out. Closing the door of course. Bitches...

"So are you related to the pirate looking guy?" I asked him grinning.

"Tobi" He said coldly. Tobi huh?

"So are all level 50 experiments male?" I asked still grinning at the smexy male. He nodded.

"Do they all wear the same red tanks with loose shorts?" I asked the smex god. Or is he? I'll find out one of these days, I swear it. XD He nodded. Damn stoic and silent smexy Uchiha...

"How many experiments are in level 50?" I asked getting smarter. OMJ! It's the apocalypse! Ha never mind~

"7 He answered, only using the necessary amount of words. Damn...

"Ah ah ah, 8 now, or at least until I get bored~" I purred out happily.

"I think I branded 3 of them already..." I said slowly.

"Branded?" He asked, confused.

"Made them mine" I chirped childishly as if it was nothing special. He was quiet for a while.

"And I think I'm gonna brand you too!" I yelled out as he glared at me. I quickly took out my weird blade, making it the size of my palm. I took off his straight jacket and grabbed his right shoulder.

"Stay still..." I cautioned as I brought the blade down. He didn't show any sign of moving away. I brought meh awesome blade to his skin and wrote meh dadeh's symbol on his shoulder, He wasn't even flinching! Grrr..., Then _S.H_. It glowed a bright red before implanting in his skin as a black color with a red tint. Haha I have branded four people! Then we just sat down and waited for the creepy snake dude to bring me my new straight jacket. There was some kissing here and there as we waited of course~ Veerrrrryyy good kisser by the way~ :D I'm a happy demon princess!

By the time snake dude came back we were having a heated make out session. He dropped the straight jacket as he gaped. Ha the bitch was sooo surprised. I let go of meh smexy weasel and helped him put the straight jacket back on. Then I strutted up to the snake guy, took my new straight jacket and jumped through the giant hole in the wall into my room. I quickly put the straight jacket on after giving Itachi a wink. I summoned some large demons and watched as they fixed the wall in a matter of seconds. With a large poof, the demons disappeared and I was leaning against meh wall and falling asleep on the way.

**Angel: *hic * What arrre you llloooking attt?**

**Tobi: Tobi is a good boy and didn't drink!**

**Hidan: was'up babe *hic ***

**Deidara: I'm a woman not *hic * a babe!**

**Kakuzu: Your not a *hic * woman!**

**Deidara: Yes I *hic * am! DO you not see meh breasts? Shows Sakura's braw full of water balloons***

**Sakura: Is that my *hic * bra?**

**Angel: Until next *hic * time!**


	3. Of Ringpops, Puppets, Clay, and Pocky

**Hello my beauties! I am trully sorry for updating so late. Life's been like hell recently and everytime I sat down to write down this chapter I would have a blank mind. Grrrr I hate writers block. Okay I'm going to keep this short and just go on to the long awaited chapter. Tadaaaaa~~~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto, cookies ;^; or ring pops~~~ XP_**

Night came and passed in a matter of minutes it seemed to me. I didn't dream. Nothing bad. Nothing good. I woke up once more as I thought back to the past. In reality it really was a bad idea to burn down my poor dad's room. Why did I do it again? Who knows. I shrugged it off rather easily as a lapse of my natural stupidness. I wanted to see my cute little weasel again and maybe those other handsome three I saw last time. Haaaa~~~ They probably hated my guts right now and wanted to see me dead. In their perfectly shaped hands. I guess it's partly my fault too. I mean I did give them a permanent tattoo... Without explaining why or what I exactly did...

I blinked as a piece of blood red hair fell in my face, shaking me from my private musings. I stared at the small strand for a moment, silently cursing the straight jacket. I blew it back into place and slipped back into my thoughts. I missed my hellishly Hell. I missed my loving father. I miss my annoying friends. I miss the fire of my home. I now know why I burned down my father's room. I remember. He was dating another demon. An ugly little slut named Karin. She was a hideous bat demon. Ugly bitch she was. She only wanted my father for his position. I warned him she might have diseases but he didn't pay me any mind. You can't blame me. She was a stupid whore that died her hair my color. Psshhh only I can rock blood red. She even got the hairstyle wrong! Half her hair looked like it was perfectly brushed and then the other half looked like she got lazy and left it knotted up. Probably too busy sleeping around the the slut we all know she is. Because of that skank, father had no time left for me. I had gotten lonely. Being all by myself in that big castle. Shaking my head to rid myself of my thoughts I blinked as I heard a bird chirping with my enhanced ears. Was it morning already? Wooooww...

I've been sitting in my white as fuck room with stupid padded walls for hours now. Just waiting for someone to come take me out of my own personal hell. And not the good one. It's sooooo fucking boring. Grrrrr where is that retarded snake bitch when you need him? I perked up immediately as I heard the stupid padded door open slowly. Shit, could this person be any slower? Jashin!

"Sure took your damn time" I blinked when I realized this wasn't the ugly as fuck snake bitch. It was a tall, pale (ugly) man with greasy looking silver hair in a messy ponytail and round glasses that seemed to glint evilly under the extremely bright light. He looked at me warily. I hated him already. Him and that stupid clipboard he was carrying around. He seemed to be jotting down notes, not even looking at what he was writing, cocky bastard... Probably nothing but a minion to that stupid snake bitch.

"I was told you'd be a problematic vicyom. I am here to take you to the rec. room where you are to meet another level 50 experiment... Apart from the ones you've already scarred.." I frowned as he called me a 'victom' um hello? I was a patient. I began smirking proudly as I realized he was talking about my mark I had left on those four sexy men.

The ugly ass minion took me to another room. The room was an annoying plain white, as I was expecting, with solid steel walls and solid steel doors. Heavily armed guards in protection suits surrounded the room, inside and out, I felt a small chill creep up my skin. God snake bitch really doesn't trust me... In the middle of the room was a rather small looking table with two seats at either side. Already sitting at one end of the table was the extremely hot blonde man I had already marked. He seemed pissed. Like really really _pissed_. Wonder why~ Hahaha he's soooo pissed off at me. I giggled a little. Ooooh what a lovely shade of red he was becoming~. Like a tomato... I wonder if my friend had been here to see this if he would eat him... Was he looking mad? Apparently the seats where solid steel too, and stuck to the ground the stupid tiled _white_ floors. He was chained to the chair and I blinked as guards neared me to tie me down as well.

"Fuck ta the no. I'm good" I snarled out as I flashed fangs, watching them step back in fear. Grinning I took my seat and stared impassively, like Weasel-kun~~~, at my blonde marked one.

"Sooooo" I began a bit awkwardly. OMJ! I'm never awkward! What is this place doing to me?

"The fuck did you do to me, yeah!" He yelled out, glaring heatedly at me. Well then. Someone obviously hasn't heard of something called manners... Didn't most mortals have those? Well, whatevers bitch. It's not like I have many manners either XD.

"I marked you dude. Chill. All I did was make sure other demons can't claim or kill or eat or butcher or enslave or rape or attack ad such to you unless they'd want my daddy sending them to the dungeon." I said in a perfectly calm and serenevoice. I stared at his bright blue eyes and watched as many emotions flickered through them. How amusing.

So I spent a few hours with Deidara. Pretty hot dude. I learned a lot about him and have to admit I may become bomb obsessed as well. I was a bit disappointed he liked taking things slow. Since we, and I quote, 'Just met and its a bit awkward sharing with so many different guys, un'. Psssshhhaaaawww that man just can't handle all this smexiness. …... At least I still get make out sessions with Dr. Weasel Uchiha. Raaaawwwrrr~~~

Anyways... Deidara said he'll tell his two friends, Sasori and Tobi, about it all. Tobi will probably be fine as long as I get him a ring pop engagement ring... God what the fuck was a ring pop? Sasori would probably be another thing all together. Either he'll be like Itachi and just go fuck it and makeout wit me ooooorrrr he could be totally against the idea and rather not have anything to do with me... I'm hoping for the first option cuz that man is sexy fine. Welllll... That and the fact that if he rejects me, the mark I gave him will consume him and kill him, damning him to hell where my daddy will torture him for eternity for even _thinking_ about rejecting his precious baby girl. Feh. Though Deidara did mention a puppet could cheer him up... Apparently he loves puppets but the guards have taken them all away. He specifically likes human puppets... Guess I have to escape and kill someone to make a puppet. How do you even make a human puppet?

I'm actually excited for tomorrow. For realzzz. Tomorrow I get to meet Tobi! XD Woot! Deidara says he hates the young acting kid but he sounds so fucking adorable. Oh shit. I feel like a pedophile! ;-; Poor Tobi! …... Damn, now I have to go looking for a fucking ring pop engagement ring aand make a human puppet... I still have no idea what the fuck a ring pop is... Or how to make a human puppet... Should I get C4 clay that Deidara mentioned as a present for the smexy blonde? And maybe some 'pocky' as Itachi had said for said man... I have no clue what C4 clay or pocky is...

I'm sooo fucking screwed over

**Sooooo? How'd you like it? I got a bit more serious here and not exactly too much humore. It was more like a filler but I promise I'll make a much longer and funnier chapter next. I just wanted to get this out to you people so no flames please!**

**Bye~~~~**


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